8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. People are wonderful. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. He loves you and he needs money. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. What do you say? October 29, 2004. I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. var googletag = googletag || {}; We are in a country, and in a world that is run by people who brainwash , . _Q: [] Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66. But did you ever notice that we have no war on homelessness? 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Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. They own, and control the corporations. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound heals it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? "ebfg_email", "ebfg_sms"]; Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but its the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. return null; function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. "Laugh often, long and loud. gads.src = (useSSL ? Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. I hate groups of people. What exactly is viewer discretion? Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. // page settings Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Chris Evans Inspiring Quotes on Happiness, Success, and Being Laser Focused on Love, Strangers Spring Into Action to Save a Driver in Crisis on a Busy Road [VIDEO], 8-Year-Old Finds Out His Favorite Waffle House Waiter Is Hiding a Secret Doesnt Hesitate to Raise $64,000 for Him, White Woman Refuses to Listen to Dad After He Forbid Her From Marrying a Black Man 60 Years Later, Theyre Still Together, Kansas City Chiefs Fans Donate Over $300,000 to Buffalo Childrens Hospital After Dramatic Playoff Win Versus Rivals. You don't. You have no choice. I hate groups of people. , googletag.enableServices(); George Carlin "The planet is fine. So arrogant. Period. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.George Carlin,Brain Droppings, THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: Please stop sucking my dick or Ill call the police. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why?Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat.George Carlin. " If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. A.async = !0; An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. And armbands. Do share your thoughts with us in the comment section and tell us which one was your favoriteGeorge Carlin quotesor if you want to ask any questions or have any query send them viaContact Us. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node); googletag.pubads().setTargeting("gr_author", "false"); " George Carlin 15. I have certain rules I live by. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. The planet is fine. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); // "Boy everyone in this country is running around yammering about their fucking rights. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking. Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air. George Carlin, 54. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. You have owners. George Carlin, 84. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. Thank you! George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. But once youre born, youre on your own. George Carlin. pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. } var source = getCookieWithoutJQuery("source"); It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Enjoy! If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. You have no choice. > Quotable Quote. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) You and I are not in the big club. Well, its Gods will. Thy Will Be Done. Fine, but if its Gods will, and Hes going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." ~ (George Carlin). The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. The larger the group, the more toxic, the more of your beauty as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought. for(var i=0; i