Sounds great, said the health-conscious boy. Why did the ghost go to rehab? That's because a short one-liner or silly knock-knock joke is almost always guaranteed to inspire a chuckle or two if not a full-on belly laugh from friends and family. The man replied: "You can't do this. What kind of bug can tell time? How did the pig get to the hogspital? What type of flower should you not give on Valentines Day? In the piano! "The farmer didn't answer. 36. Ketchup. What do you call a quiet laugh in Maui? Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper? 3. It was framed. What did the snail who was riding on the turtles back say? !Man, that sentence was way too long. it's pretty much a universal fact that petting or even spotting a dog in the street can lift your mood. Redneck cousin comes into the kitchen and Dad once again asks what is desired for breakfast. Minnesota (as in, mini-soda). Required fields are marked *. Search by topic Joke Topics Engine Jokes Cave Jokes Wednesday Jokes Mosquito Jokes Stew Jokes Snowflake Jokes He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. What do you call a space magician? Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. 53. How do you identify a dogwood tree? 195. When does Friday come before Thursday? An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. Excited, Jim goes back to Bob and says: I will be taking 4 classes: English, Math, Science, and Logic., Logic? Bob said, What the heck is that?. "Tim gets this horrified look on his face.She says, "Darling, what's wrong? The two boys had never heard that word before and asked about it. The second boy goes into the kitchen and Dad again asks what is wanted for breakfast. The wife and I took a long, leisurely drive out to the country and pulled over to fill up our car's gas tank and tires She was surprised to see that the station had a fee to fill the tires and asked me, "Why in the world do they charge for AIR?! "Hey, son! Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor.. Because you should never drink and derive. ", During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then? Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. A swordfish! The space bar. Why was the math book sad? 1 Two Redneck Farmers. My brother came back from school all motivated because he said he would be following a new diet from that day. 147. Why do hurricanes wear a monocle to see? 138. What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? A facepalm. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. In a trunk. 66. When it is ajar. funny dreadlocks jokesspring ligament tear recovery time. 90. I bought an automatic shovel. TODAY: Ready to show teachers some ? They only have one tail. Because nothing gets under their skin. Their bats flew away. A meow-tain. Its your Vacuum Cleaner that you need to be worried about its been collecting dirt on you for years. ""My God!" Sneakers wont help you outrun that bear." And if you have a house, you probably have a wife, and if you have a wife you must be a heterosexual!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_11',619,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); Wow! Jim said, You found all that out just because I have a weed Wacker! The Dean nodded. I excel at sleeping. Herein, we've rounded up the 50 funniest jokes that are so silly they're practically sunshine. 26. I would have thought that it was very weird had I not realized that it was the singer Adele. 37. Any dog, because buildings cant jump. 177. How many times can you subtract 10 from 100? Well, Bubba began, We wuz havin a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?. What cookie flavor do monkeys love? 295. "God said, "Sure, just a second. I hope they will think they are seriously funny jokes! 44. Your feedback will help us improve the article. A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A racist man called me a terrorist for having long hair, a long beard, and being Middle Eastern.Later I saw him at church giving a speech about how everyone needs a Middle Eastern guy with long hair and a beard in their lives. Blew. It was below sea level. Have a good laugh over these clean jokes you can tell your friends and kids without getting in trouble! Posted On 7, 2022. Mother of six, the redneck would say, whats for dinner tonight? Please hang out with me awhile and check it out! Even the cake was in tiers. Why don't cats tell stories? What do you call a fake father? Both the parents reprimanded the little boy and told him that these things shouldn't be discussed over the dinner table. The judge looks sternly at the ex wife. Two dragons walk into a bar. If you don't already know the answer (and we're guessing you do because it's a classic), you'll simply have to scroll on for the punchline. What did the grape say to the silly peanut butter? Why did the woman go on the date with the mushroom? Then the driver said, "Look, mate, don't ever do that again. 94. "I work for 7 Up! 242. A comedi-hen! A refrigerator. They are short and easy to remember. What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? 114. You could probably get a good price for your clubs. 55. You can read more about it and change your preferences, A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Talk is cheap? As I was fixing the car, the lady would cross the road and shout "Hello" at me. What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Cauli-flower. Aye matey. "What's wrong? Why shouldnt you write with a broken pencil? My daughter brought a friend from school and she said his great-great-great-great-grandfather was coming to pick him up later. A pie-thon! Micro-waves. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! ", asks the bartender. Its not stroganoff. 290. Better yet, you'll have plenty of fresh material guaranteed to keep the gang in stitches for weeks to come. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Because it was framed. A one-liner is well and fine if you need a quick joke to brighten up the mood. 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What do sea monsters eat? ""Didn't know how fast you could walk". Secondhand stores. 61. What kind of fishing bait do librarians use? 18 Why do birds fly over trailer parks upside down? Put a little boogie in it. Dam. A year later, theres another knock at the door. A philosiraptor. It's my way or the Huawei. The Desperado swears, steps back into the bar, and fires a round. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, "Congratulations! Subscribe to Skip to my Lou to get new ideas delivered to your inbox. We have even more jokes that are stupid but funny to share with you. To make things worse, he had to wait another hour in a line outside the tuxedo shop. "Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband.Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir? Because they arrgh! A four-chin teller. We respect your privacy. So. While they were playing in their fort, one of the boys accidentally stepped in the redneck cousins finger. The man called out to the farmer, "How long will it take me to get to the next town? Error occurred when generating embed. Because pepper water makes them sneeze. It was tense. I can even do it with my eyes closed. Hey Pandas, Post A Picture Of A Cat Being Naughty, 30 Pictures Of Beautiful Bangladeshi People By Mou Aysha (New Pics), 79 Surreal Images Of Sneakers Placed In Some Very Interesting Locations By Carlos Jimnez Varela. Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole. 262. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. 256. They always hog the road. 190. But the pilot objected he said, The plane can take out only four of your elk. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition? "Nervous, the kid asks, "How long do I have to go to school for? What do you call a group of disorganized cats? 25. As the policeman approaches the truck, the truckdriver rolls down his window and asks, "What's going on? "The vendor replies, "Change comes from within.". You don't have to be crazy to be my friend. 123. 89. 92. A happy uncle. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. 165. You spend so much time on the course. 124. The mooooo-vies! data nugget why are butterfly wings colorful answer key. The Lock Up. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Theyre always up to something. Why did the melon jump into the lake? "A voice from the back of the room said, "Yeah, right. Im a virgin.. Mind Your Business counted to a hundred and then started looking for his brother. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away. So, one day they were playing hide and seek. It just didnt work out! How do ice hockey players stay cool? Funny Jokes for Kids 1. A palm tree! 145. "The bartender thinks for a moment, then replies, "Y, the long face. They are on their honeymoon. Is Google male or female? Between us, something smells. The Mane House. Why did the picture go to jail? How do you make a pool table laugh? Today is my first day as a cab driver I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.". Why did the deer go to the dentist? 62. Whats orange and sounds like a carrot? In the piano! Someone else driving down the highway stops and walks over to him, and asks, What happened? The man replies, I hit this rabbit with my car and now its dead! The other person gets a thoughtful look on their face and goes back to their car. You could probably get a good price for your clubs. Watch while I prove it to you.". However, one smart flight attendant had an idea. "As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast. actually it wasnt that funny but it made me giggle, I said one of these jokes at chritmas and it made my family laugh that much that my Grandma had a heart attack LOL, Your email address will not be published. You wont miss an opportunity to make someone laugh with these corny good jokes. Its two gross. Kick off the year with a laugh (or two) by telling these hilarious New Year's jokes. What is the opposite of a croissant? My buddy got arrested on drug charges and because it was his first offense, he thought he would get off lightly, but it turned out his lawyer was one of the worst in the state and ended up botching his case, so instead of getting a short term, he ended up getting 40 years without parole! Learn More. "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up", said the sarcastic teacher. Where does the General keep his armies? 20 How do rednecks spend the first week of the school year? It's got a rattle. The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away. A man is walking through the woods when he sees a bear charging at him. What kind of pizza do dogs eat? 240. He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didnt realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: CLEARANCE 8 FT 3 IN. A garbage truck. Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill? Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone. ", My nagging wife died suddenly on a trip to Jerusalem. (sing) Raw-raw-raw-ra-ah-aww. Take it to the doc already. They belong to me.You need to take them to the zoo, the policeman said.The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. Everything you need over 50% OFF. "Where do you live?" A tough old cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning. ""For a minute there you were beginning to sound like my ex-wife.""Ex-wife!" What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? I want some motherf***ing pancakes!, the second boy said. Someone glued my deck of cards together. Market research. What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? What did Dory order from McDonalds? Funny. A pouch potato. 241. If she wasnt good enough for her own family, then she isnt good enough for ours.. It was a tyrannosaurus wrecks. Why did the manager bring a pencil and paper to the match? Wheeeee! Donald Trump was walking through Manhattan and saw a long queue. , A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. ", asks another waiter.
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